Mirror

A mirror hangs on my wall,

Everyday wishing it was never there at all,

Who is it that reflection, looking at me?

Why is it not myself, that I see?

Covering my eyes, I begin to hate that face,

Wanting nothing more but to leave this place,

Why do I lash out in such aggression?

Why does something always steal my attention? 

My eyes are dull; they are no longer bright,

My face is gray; no longer smooth and light,

This wretched mirror that hangs on my wall,

Everyday wishing it was never there at all,

I can’t seem to stop it; though I have never tried,

As I roll further down, this deceiving ride,

I wish I could stop, this great addiction,

End this attack on my body of this intense affliction,

A mirror hangs on my wall,

Everyday wishing it was never there at all,

Who is it, that reflection looking at me?

Why is it not myself, that I see?

Whenever I attempt to call,

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it at all,

Seeing that no one ever sees me,

I’m stranded in this place; wanting to flee,

The glass reflection is merciless and cold,

I’ll never leave this state of mind, so I’m told,

I hate the mirror, which hangs on my wall,

Everyday wishing it was never there at all,

Throwing my fist into that iridescent glass,

Pieces of my shattered face fly pass,

The empty hole in the jagged frame reflects me,

The dark spot, picturing my soul, is all I see,

A black frame hangs on my wall,

Regret filling my broken heart after all,

Tears roll slowly down my face,

I’m stranded here, in this isolating case... 

~by: [Xanatos} 2010

Here's a poem I wrote during school hours once. (Shockingly, it wasn't homework) I don't know what to post, so I just copy-pasted this on here) It's kind of self-explainatory, but it tells a very known tale. I think we've all felt this way at least once. 

Homework..."Podcasting"

Homework Q---
     "What did you learn about podcasting?"

The answer? Easy. I learned that podcasting is a sort of like radio talking, recorded. Like a blog, only recorded....if that makes sense. It's a media file which you can listen to, or watch. It's said in a reasoning way. I can't type today...

I've had many ideas for podcasts, just by looking at them. Seeing the comedy, the news, ect. ect. I'm a jokster, and a pranksters, so, I could imagine one of that sort being up my alley.

Not much to say in this one...my minds kind of full of other things.

Art Class!!..........?????

Yes, my thoughts exactly. I had the first art class (officially) that I have had since 3 years ago. Nerve racking at first, but when I walked into that room, everything was the same. Nothing had changed, and I was home, again. :)

I'm only posting cuz I was told to post everyday. Otherwise, I'd be working...

PLANNING:

New, and improved COMICS coming YOUR way!!!
     - Pictures of characters will be posted first
     - Story will not be revealed, not even to my closest friends and family....your in the dark...Muahahahah
     - It'll be a graphic novel, and I will most likely do practices of old pages first before I begin...the Project
     - It will NOT be in color, or a flash comic....I want it to be a flash comic, but I'm still learning how to make those. So, it'll be all manually drawn and edited. A.K.A...it's gonna take a while.
     - In the mean time.....I'll post other comics/pics that are awesome...and no I own nothing!!!


So, for now...just enjoy these....

Sorry Twilight Fans...but it's just not worth saying much at times... :)

I know this was an old one, but I couldn't resist! 

Homework..."Disconnecting"

Well, if you mean disconnecting from all the internet and everything I work on the computer...? It would in fact make me a very happy person. All my work is online, and most of my deadlines are online...which makes up most of my stress and anger issues. (Yea, believe it or not....I've attempted to break the computer screen in the past) And no, school isn't part of my stress or work online. I feel pressured and anxiouse to get it done. In fact, if I stopped from going online, my life would be really relaxing. I'm always on, 24/7. I would think, eat, think, eat, think, eat, think, eat
The works...
Om Nom Nom....
Yup, my life would be awesome. Well...maybe. I'd still have to manually do the work, and upload it later...but then it wouldn't be disconnecting...
Things would go smoothly...

No rain=Sunday...

My Sundays pretty much went from worse to even worse to yay. All in one breath.
I was able to sleep in this morning since church is tonight, for a change. And so I slept in till about noon, again, and then woke up to my mom making home-made cinnamon-rolls. (Spelt right?) Of course I started working right away, and ate breakfast. AND I HAD COFFEE!!! I gave it up for Lent, so on Sundays I have as much as I can. (I had about 5 cups, roughly)
I ran out of ink while in the middle of my newest project, so we went all over tarnation looking for more inking pens...couldn't find any. SO, I'm stuck with Sharpies, again.
That was my weekend, other then desperately getting my homework done in less then 10 minutes today.

No lie, my weekends are like mucho grande drag(ish) I work, eat, sleep, and eat some more. And work some more. I feel like a teacher!

As for a pic. (I love the comic one from yesterday. It's on my desk wall) I guess this explains my weekend.

Yea, that's about it. And no,  I have no idea who this person is, but it has a striking resemblence of me.

My Weekend?

That's a good question. Wanna know why? (It's got no verb)

No, all my weekends are the same, so I can get my homework blog over with and write it out now. Sat. are my least busiest days anyway. 

I wake up at about noon. (today I was forced to go shopping, and nearly killed myself in the process. I HATE shopping, with a passion) 

I'm messing with my computer wondering what to draw right now. I just came home from shopping, and felt like taking a nap, but if I did, I know my head would most likely get chewed off. So, I'm on here. I was given a lecture today on somethign I hear just about all the time. "You shouldn't draw comics anymore" Yup. My parents think I should draw more portraits and they think I need to work harder. Little do they already know, I have NEVER wanted to ever anything but comics. They've known that ever since I began drawing them. (I was 7!) I love portraits, but comics have always been my thing. And having people at my new classes tell me I'm good makes me feel great, but it doesn't sink in. After being told to stop and have my parents tell me not to draw it anymore hurts deeper then anyone could imagine. Kids outside of home might have been jealous, or could have been honest, but it still marked me. I dunno, I've never wanted to stop, ever since I was really little, I always wanted to become the youngest cartoonist. And I could have. I was offered publishment many time when I was about 10. But we had to save my name under certain identity so no one stole it, and my dad wouldn't pay for it. So I can't get anythign published until I move out. 

Sun. I always have church, and some church class thing I have to go to. Which sucks 'cause we never do anything fun. We sit in a middle school, and take quizzes. Oh, joy.

That's my weekend! Oh, I have to have a pic too...

I love big pics. (Anyone who watched/reads Deathnote knows who these people are)

I'm like the guy eating and the guy typing all in one. I eat none-stop, and work none-stop....unless I'm sleeping. BTW! I just found out I have another art class.....Tues. SoOoOoo...that means I have to draw a giant pic of fabric! Yay! (sob)

Extreme Tallent...

No one's gonna read this so I'll make it short. (It's unlike me, 'cuase I usually write a lot :)
In my 8th hour, we were (forced) to watch this, and I personally thought it was insane...
Inspired Bicycles
Yea, I'm lucky if I can jump a giant puddle after the rain where I live. Only in my dreams climb a tree with wheels. O_o
Am I the only one who thinks the choriography in here is amazing?
SHINee
And just because I'm bored, I'll add this...
Nosy People
That guy always makes me laugh...he's awesome.
(All red words are links btw....for beginners)
Anyway, that's it for now.....

Rant on SL (Service Learning)...

Well, here I sit, pretending to work. As usual. I usually don't do anything in most of my classes and don't give my full all, and yet I still do pretty well. It's kinda weird. I usually do awesome in school the first semester, but then I get lazy and become the ultimate slacker towards the middle/end of the school year. This is why I hate summer semesters. ;_; Anyway, this is a rant on SL. It's boring and in a way, I think there are tons of things the people COULD do, and DON'T. Which is really annoying. I hate it when people have so much potential, and they don't use any of it. The teachers do their own thing, and the kids do their own thing....a full 2 hours wasted. I could be doing work right now, but I can't.
I finished my commission Sasuke yesterday too. It didn't work out as well, the screen was blurry and so I accidentally gave him pink skin. 5) And then I couldn't remember the type of clothes he wore, (it was about midnight and I was a little tired) so he's wearing a deep blue shirt and purple pants. ;P Yea, the only part I was really proud of was the original part I did first. His head.
WHY??? Now everyone's debating about the Bible. I think we have WAY to much time on out hands....
"For the love of donuts, let's GO!" ----Movie quote
Anyone who can name this quote..... will see the movie it's from with me. (popcorn, chocosodas, gummis, and powdered donuts)
I found another saying I like...:
"The ones who achieve are those who try, but it's those who attempt that succeed."

Kinda complicated, but a deep thinker one.

Rant on Commission Work...

Ok, don't take me wrong. I LOVE doing commission work, and that's why I'm gonna be ranting on it. In fact, I think I might even post some commission pics to add to this. <Muahahaha, won't that be fun! :) (And yes it is going to be original) I have always loved to do commission work, ever since last year that is. I had never been asked to do it before then. And whenever I had, I wasn't ready and ruined it, which made me feel horrible, and the person asking. Not a fun cycle.
As you can tell, I'm in a much better mood then I was this morning, why? Because I realized all the homework I got done yesterday is due tomorrow, and everything that WAS due today I can get done Sunday night, so I have another free day. Kinda nice, eh? I thought so.
Speaking of commission work, the reason I bring it up, is simple. I was asked do another picture, manually. (drawing on paper) Now, I've been asked to Sasuke Uchiha a thousand times this year, (Just in case some people don't know, he's a character from Naruto) and this wouldn't make such a difference when I was randomly sketching faces the other day and a total SENIOR asked me to draw her Sasuke. It was a little ackward, but I agreed, and then still haven't gotten it done. You might be wondering, why do I love commission work? Easy answer....it helps me build. I'm a very open person, and when it comes to art, I'm VERY open. I'm constantly trying new styles, and new technics. If I see someone drawing a certain way, I'll try it. And when people say "Draw me Alphonse" I'll look up who he is, for starters, then I'll find a pic and draw it exactly the same style used on the screen. And it usually turns out great. Now for Commission art!

Yea, this suckers huge. (On the actual paper) Well, it's pretty obvious how bad I am at commissions....obviously. You can see every flaw in this thing. (I blame the pencils) Believe it or not, this is a commission of Naruto and Hinata.....yea, I know, unbelievable. It looks nothing like them. Well, the reason being, the person I drew it for saw the sketch and told me she wanted something different. Like Naruto doing some goofy young boyish thing. I kinda gave her a quick look, and told her I'd try again. So, I turned Naruto into a character I made up, name Luran. (He's gonna be in the graphic novel that I'm warming up to make :) And I made the girl...a girl. Personally I have a thing for really baggy pants, so thus they both have baggy pants. When the commissioner rejected this, (Well, she didn't I just kept the original so I could color it) I ended up porting it to a nearby art studio (which I work at btw) and it won a ribbon for artist....something. (I lost the ribbon :O) Yea, there's actually a kind of funny story behind it. I had heard abuot the live show being held a few months back, but never really cared,...my stuff almost is never recieved with open arms. (My sis is like a godess over there...they all love her work. And no, she doesn't do comics like me) (This is REALLY long) Anyway, it was a Sat. morning and the final day of the show. I had just woken up (it was about 2pm.) and decided since I didn't want to work, I'd check out the gallery for the hundreth time. Since it's right down my street, I walked down, PJ's and all. Hair a total mess, glasses on crooked, and a spilling cup of Joe in my hand. I entered the place, to realize that this was the final day, and all the kids/artists were there taking a pictures of them with their art. Then there was me. The manager (my boss) was like 

"{Xanatos}! Come on! I love your picture, can I take a photo with you by it?" I started laughing at her, and just ate a cookie, watching the other kids get their pictures taken. But my boss wouldn't leave me alone. Then to top it off my mom came in from shopping and told me to get the photo taken. Now, I hate pictures of myself, because people always have the urge to take them when I look my worst. Like right after I finish a piece, or just came in from a very large party. Or I just feel like throwing up, so you have this cringed smile on your face. 

Anyways, I finally gave in, and sat, two over sized shirts hanging out, baggy pants, with the pockets hanging out, and my hair looking like an afro. Wonderful. Then I forced my sis to have her pic taken too. :)

Yea, this picture was drawn in my actual sketch book. Unreal. Oh, and I mixed out my real name. So Hackers GO AWAY!!! I want to KEEP my IDENTITY PLEASE! I can't say I have better ones, 'cause that means to have to dig them out, and scan them through. Which I swear I was forcing this pic through the scanner a hundred times before the stupid computer excepted it. Oh, and here's my newest project...

I made this intentionally small, and it's not finished...I'll post the finished product when it's done...hopefully soon. This is my work space.....yes it's true. I'm a messy person. But hey! I'm a part time artist! (Lies, I'm a full-time artist)

I should end this, no one's gonna read it. ;)

Crummy Morning...crummy day

As of the moment, I am in a class I was supossed to have tomorrow. Because of the snow day it totally messed with my mind, and my schedule. My classes aren't in order, anyway. I have certain classes on certain days of the week, and when they get mixed up, it kinda plays havoch on my mind. I came to class(s) today thinking I had certain classes to go to, and it turned out those classes are TOMORROW. (eyeroll) So, right now, I feel like a large lump of crap sitting on a highway, holding my thumb out to moving cars. Yea, I was up till 4am, as you most likely already know, finished the homework for tomorrow's classes, and have none done for what's due today. Plus, to add to my misery, all my books/notebooks/supplies/brain are at home. I'm stressed over work I have to get done, stressed over homework due last year, stressed over just about everything right now. All I really want to do is crawl under this desk and sleep for the never couple of weeks, and wake up for spring break. I'm screwed. I'm not on the brightest side of most teachers, 'cause I have a tendency to speak my mind, and most teachers don't like me saying anything at all. Which is understandable, I just say it 'cause I'm just like that. I hope this is long enough for my immediate teacher, for this IS an assignment. Well, I can call this assignement complete.
Oh, and you might have noticed that I added an (A.L.) to my name, Xanatos. Which is again for this class. I made this blog for an 8th hour, ModernMedia originally, but the blog unit ended, and then we had to make another one for CompCom. So, I'm just recycling this blog over. So I had to make a few changes. So...you're gonna find some changes to my name/account soon. Beware.

Snow Day.....Thank God

THANK YOU MOTHER NATURE!!! I have been dying for some time off, and I finally got it! Today was most likely the laziest day I've had for about a week. I stayed up till about 4 this morning working on homework, so that I'd have everything done for today....but nOoOo...all classes were canceled today because of the weather. Which was fine with me, I was gonna sleep in anyway, sunshine or hale. My sis gave me a heart attack this morning, thinking we had school, and I was over-sleeping...again. Then, (I love being home) my mom said most classes/schools were closed today. I barely heard the word "closed" when I conked out again. Yea, I pretty much did nothing today. I sat on the couch played video games with my sis, 'cause I haven't done that in a very long time, and it felt good. Even though she beat me. (I'm getting rusty)
Oh, and I took a nap. Which is weird for me, I'm so wired I can never get myself to fall asleep. I guess being at home relaxes me more. Love it!
To get off topic, the pic you see above is in fact NOT mine. Nope, (Though I WILL be posting comics, and drawings soon....my computer has been refusing to scan...So you'll see some of my crap soon enough) This is in fact a middle school contest winning manga picture. I personally thought it was very well done....plus it looks like me. :P And it's my life in chibi, except I don't do ninja on people....not that much, anyways. Congrats to the amazing kid who won!
Odd enough, the snow is almost all gone where I live...right now. This morning it looked like all hell had broken loose, now it's all melted with the sun shining. Owell....I missed classes that's all that matters.

Rant on Homework

Yea well, I'm writing this 'cause I have a lot of homework starring at me right now, and I really don't want to do any of it. I hate it when it piles up, and the teachers think it's doing you good when they add to Mount TrigI'mATree. (That's a fail from, "Gee I'm a Tree") or even Calculas. I don't get the cue to homework. I mean, don't the teachers know we students do actually have lives outside of school, though it might not be likely, it's actually true. Heck, my days 99.9998% school related. I go to school, I come back, I eat, do homework AND eat, do more work, I do my work on the computer along with some drawings, which are also homework, and finally the clock hits 2am. By then I'm psyched up and end up doing more work which was due last week. And my weekends are complete art homework dates.

This might be hard to read, but it pretty much max's up my life, other then I barely sleep. I do that during social studies. And my classes are twice that long. Plus, my work isn't that short, and I don't get internet time, unless you call THIS internet time. (I beg to differ with you but...) Back to ranting on homework....I think teachers should ban having homework projects over the weekend. Like on Fri. just say, it's all said and done. You can only choke enough knowledge down our throats before we throw it up again. 

"I payed a lot of money for that meal...I'm not gonna throw it up!"---Movie quote.

Although the good news is I can see free movies sometimes at the nearby theater! ☺ But I don't live near there anymore. Which sucks mold. This rant is going on forever... 

News on Japan

I've been hearing thousands of things on Japan, not that anyone isn't. I'm only adding my two cents. I think it's ironic how people either say, "Oh, my gosh! Japan needs so much help! I feel so bad for them! What a tragedy!" Or, "Japan has had many earth-quakes and miny tsunamies before, they can live." I've even heard, "Those stupid anime lovers keep coming out with more and more"Pray for Japan" pics." Well, all in all, I think people are over looking the truth of the happening. It happened. And there's only one thing we can do...help. People say "Poor Japan" but that's about it, right? They don't really think about it as they sip their coffee and work in a cupical all day. Th same thing with China, I mean, everyone knows about their bad economy, yet what do people actually DO about it? I think people need to act more then "Awe, poor country" What if it was happening to America? I rest my case, crumbling mode.