new project

im starting something new.


this is gonna be huge.

i start interviews tomorrow....really nervous Dx

wish me luck guys...i'll polish this post off when it's done /:

coming back

ok i kinda feel bad that i sorta abandoned this blog ><

sorry guys...

not that any of you read this lol, your all from my school and you guys all forgot your passwords xP

ummm....so news....mmm......*thinks*
so mush lol.

my brain is mush

i have finals this week...and to be honest, im dying (_ô_O'_) i literally just printed off my paper and needed something to do while it printed. yea it was a pretty big paper. and i just wrote it. like...right now

im so tired DX *groans* i haven't slept in 3 solid days @____________@ after this friday me and my bed will have quite a bonding moment. like no lie...it might last a few days *nods*

mmm i think it's weird that i still blog. like i have almost 6 blogs, but on different sites O_o (doesn't help when you can't remember your passwords ^^') and i just finished watching videos from my freshman and sophomore year in HS. i was so different yet so much the same :?: and i started this blog then...so everytime i get on here i think of what i wanted to be at that time

i wanted to be popular i know that. oh lord you wouldn't have gotten me to admit it at the time hell no, but...i did. i was uber shy, and a lot more quiet. and i had longer hair. and it was like light blonde brown. i had a crush on someone, and right now that person is a total ass hole and i never talk to them anymore, like i completely avoid them. they hang out with some whore of a girl who sucks at everything. i take that back..she's ok. i just never liked her and she hated me.

yay ranting~

i had just made my deviantart account and i thought if i uploaded art people would flock to me, so i worked really hard at my comics and whatnot...that died. just a year ago i deleted everything on my account and started over. i don't really care about watchers or anything. just like here. i would rather...you guys (people i know personally) read this. cuz i miss so many people...

OH and that's something else
my best friend transferred. im not really emotional but i freakin cried. like....CRIED in the hallways. after she left i felt empty and shy and alone again just like when i first transferred into my new school and didn't know anyone.

a girl told me "It's hard NOT to like you" it made my day ^^ and i told my friend Chris that no one likes me and avoids me even my friends (it's true....they think im "changing" i may be...but so what?) and she was like "Dude.....you walk into school and everyone screams you name" i guess i succeeded in my freshman dream?
but how come im not happy at all with it like i thought i would be? i feel like i have no friends...everyone wants to walk with you just to walk with you. you can't tell them your secrets or anything...

i found my old idol Kevin.
dude.
he's prettier then a girl.

:jawdrop:

i remember my first post on here!!! it was like introducing myself i think...and i was obsessed with ExtremeDays....omg my fave movie still ^^

you know Emma? she just had a baby. A BABY. THIS IS EMMA WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. FIRST GIRL TO TALK TO ME, she said she was gonna wait till she was married and everything...holy shnikeys...yea, she's engaged and everything.

i miss people </3
like...seriously. every night i can't sleep cuz i just lay there and replay what had happened in my head

and before you know it my alarm goes off and i got no sleep.

my friend made me listen to this off her ipod on the bus....it's been stuck in my head ever since....

yea it's not my type at all. but anyway...
i wanna make a video, like...a LONG video, of no talking just goofing off ...who wants to make one with me? lol~

iz wearing black eye make-up. they call me emo now. all my friends are gay/bi/or transgender. 3 years ago if i saw myself like this i would kill myself. i was such a straight A perfect student. i guess life came through. i grew up

i wear skinny jeans, with neon and black colors. i spike my hair. i do my nails. i listen to anything but country.
i get depressed SOOO EASY NOW.....holy crap. i cry a lot now too. remember freshman year when i could withstand anything? nope not now.

someone says one thing to me i crumble. like i will sit at the foot of my locker and cry.
i threw up in the bathroom because i cried too much once. i dunno why....i was bawling and it just hit me so i ran in and puked.

you guys heard about the hospital incident...

i'm gonna need a friend next week /:
 it's weird...growing up with the same people...and now you get to watch the fall apart.
seeing them when they were young and you were all immature and now...
suddenly everythings real
and they crumble before you and you can't do anything

it hurts </3

did i turn out ok?

ohhh...my paper's printed.

ok, bye for now.